this is to practise writing in chinese! after this i'm gonna explore my hp lol.. den bug my mother to tui1 my back for me... cos it HURTS!!!!! super xin ku and i have a feeling my right shoulder is slowing getting higher than my left shoulder :(




有一种莫名的挫败感。刚开始一个学期，化学已经落得得加入补习班了。

我已经找不回当年那种为学业拼搏的精神了。每当一拿起书包，就想睡觉！一觉醒来，才猛然发觉自己什么也没做到，才又担心。但心里又不肯做功课。好矛盾啊！

我希望A水准能考到好成绩。我不相信自己是主妇命！我要做一个有用的人，女强人！最讨厌就是女人/孩被人看不起。

我不要被人看不起！我要努力，但怎么找回推动力？

学业一落千丈，十分焦虑。不知道该怎么振作起来。。。 哎！

我每天都不知道自己在干什么。上课不专心，也不知道自己到底在想什么。今天数学课听不懂讲师在说什么，也懒得去多想。我的脑袋是废了吧？

总觉得自己一无是处。中一中二的时候不那么认为，但这种感觉越来越明显了。

压力很大！

一个人，应该好好读书才能出人头地。不读书就等于死路一条，对吗？为什么我明明知道这一点，但还却不加理会。

好好好矛盾!

心里十分矛盾。

有人能救救我吗？请您逼迫我读书吧。我现在需要的是一个人的逼迫。

我的生活一片混乱。。。

and i thought i could throw dhis away... but apparently...

i cant...

still got a lot of things havent do! have to settle money problems... claim money problems... debrief... blah blah blah... haiz

but overall i still enjoyed planning? it's the first time that i planned such an event.. even though it sort of flopped as everything was last minute... sorry guys!! feel guilty again :(

but anyway, everything finally ended le!!!!

IT'S TIME FOR TRAINING! YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!! :) :) :)

380 380 380!!!!!!!

Finally another holiday tmorrow!!!! YAY!!!!! finally can relax le! today dr yap wasted my time again!!!! GRRRRRRR... after science society went to bras basah to buy books and went library to borrow books... dunno how many i'll read in the end.. but i'll try to read the book that i bought which is san mao's book, for the zuo wen :( got very low marks... den i realized my standard of chinese is VERY LOW!!!! quite demoralising.. haiz! must improve chinese and english for gp... hmm feel like i'm acting like an arts student! but weirdly, the subject that i'm most proud of now, is actually.... GP!! it's the only subject that i not only passed, but passed by a few marks! hahaha!!

shall try to explore my handphone now... it's really sad that i only have time to explore now... 1 week le!

and i'm starting to love training again!!!! cos my standard is coming back!! no more scattered groupings! yay! thanks to the new position? but my hand position has been wrong, now i have an injured wrist!! BOO! plus i pulled my back muscle.. it's at the left side too... now my whole left side of my body is injured!! :( wonder if i'll be wai1 to one side when i'm old... cos my shooting position is now 70, 30 in ratio... exerting more pressure on the left side than on the right... den coach don't let me blink when i'm aiming!!!!!!! den i was super xin ku as i blink more often that the others since young... den i was tearing while trying to control myself not to blink! den i see yongliang blinking when aiming... i was super bushuang!!!!! end up i couldn't even see the target card properly, so i anyhow shoot... lol! i guess maybe the coach is trying to shift my attention to my position la... cos since after the stupid trials, my mental has been affected terribly... shoot blank card still can, once i turn to the real target, start shivering and shivering... den i dun dare to fire again... so by insisting that i do not blink, and check my position everytime, it's actually shifting my attention again... and i finally realized that i do not shake as much, and my stability is coming back!!!!! i wan to get back into nyt again!!! Hahaha... but it's true in a way that i don't wan to waste my dad's money on the suit... den also... i have finally found my passion back for shooting! after dhis... i got really scared that i suddenly became very enthu for training... i even took taxi there lor... to ensure that i have lanes... as i have missed training a lot of times, as i wanted to let the newbies train... but now... NO! i myself wan to train!!!!!! love training!! kept wanting to go for training.. but i noe yr 4s are there.... so sure cannot train de la! looking forward to next wed's training!

Thanks Lyon for your encouragement!!! I do read your blog every time and it's really so nan de that someone can be so positive everytime!

anyway... here's to blog that DHIS finally ended!!!!!!! The response was pathetic, but I never realised that everyone just 笑笑就过了! it was really really super funny when innova jc was the only team with pistol girls, and they just got first place even though the first was from victoria and the rest of the 3 was from the team! but anyway i dui bu qi them la.. cos i assumed that coach haw would have informed them that the detail combined, but apparently she dint!! so it's another lesson learnt! and end up the girls din arrived and i only realised when it's around 1245 and the competition starts at 1pm!!!!! luckily the girls were all at causeway point... they rushed here by cab and i promised to compensate them la... so in the end wasted mdm nora/the school's money... I'm terribly sorry!!!!! It was the only huge mistake and it came out when it's only the last part of the competition -.- and somemore i was shooting!!! grrrrr... and my card was given wrongly.. supposed to be 398461, the juniors gave me 399461 -.- in the end it was a super pro gal's deng chao's card... she got 378 in the end while i got 361 :( which was the score i got when i entered my first ever competition in sec 1 :( super super sad!!!! i really need more training... mental affected by the innova jc ppl is not an excuse for me... have been missing a lot of trainings and i foresee i'll miss out even more when the life science project is starting and pw will start formally... DIE le..... :( :( :( i really wanna shoot well, and i need more training for that....

but i'm really glad that DHIS finally ended!!!!! haiz really really tired and all the hardwork paid off! though i'm really sorry for Zhikai who rushed out everything, esp the banner, within 24 hours! you're powerful! and sorry for all others that everything's so last minute... i'll treat this as learning experience, nxt year i'll be a super duper great advisor hahaha! this thurs will have debrief.. hopefully i can go as i have lotsa lotsa points to make... make sure that DHIS will be "one of, if not the best invitational shoot an academic instituition has organised in singapore" hahaha... jiayou juniors!

and... i'm super stressed now as i have left all my homework undone... even those that i'm supposed to hand up during the hols itself... wonder how i'm gonna explain... jiayou!!!!!!! at least one huge thing is done... now it's school work, project work, shooting and life science research.. jiayou don't give up!!!!!!!

and i got a new phone!!!!!!! cos my old phone spoiled, it din have network coverage!!! den i couldn't receive any sms or calls or call or or sms out boo! but yay! i finally got my new phone and it's chosen by me!!!! N76... i tink it's an old model.. and it looks like motorola haha... even though it's from nokia... but hmm not many choices for 3G phones.. .and i'm satisfied with it le, even though it's not pink in colour... :( the other one with a little pink in it is 7900 prism.. i have a feeling that i won't be able to sms well with it... and i may not be able to adapt to other phone models and i dun wanna waste too much time... so it's back to nokia!!! at least i changed my phone! even though it's a bit heavy but it's slim!! hehe.. and it's red!! not silver boo! it's a flip phone too! never tried using flip phone... hope that it'll be a pleasant experience and i wouldn't have such a strong urge to change it like my previous stupid stupid 6280... BYE BYE!!! hahaha!

Jiayou!!!!!!! must go back for karate lessons too! cannot 半途而废！


JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!!!!!

last published jan 25th!! haha so here's to blog again... and it's a very crucial time for me and i'm DAMN stressed...

haiz... this week is the invitational le... i really dunno what will happen... the response is super pathetic... and i really regretted not putting in enough efforts... and got cheated by mdm nora and the coaches time and again... RESPONSE IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!!! THE WHOLE COMPETITION IS PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!!! still got people start to laugh and suan me behind my back... never mind! i shant be too pessimistic... this shall be a learning experience for me then! ppl won't understand de la... pioneer wat... next year ask u to start from scratch see how to fare!

and stupid dr yap!!!!!!! he at first said workshop on monday... den later changed to wed.. den now changed to FRIDAY again... and he said he won't accept any reason based on second cca... but look. i'm organising a competition and i'm overseeing it... if the whole thing crashes, not just dunman high school air weapons club's reputation will be tarnished, DUNMAN HIGH SCHOOL'S reputation will be tarnished too..... super stressed!!!!!!! i shall call and explain to him tmr... to the worst have to get mdm nora's help too!!!!!!!

I'M SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER STRESSED!!!!!!! can give me another chance to try again? i promise i'll

1. send postage to schools instead of emailing!!!!!!!!!!!
2. find seniors and links in the very first place
3. be more involved!!!!!!!
4. get more people to help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STUPID!!!!!!!

this is to practise writing in chinese! after this i'm gonna explore my hp lol.. den bug my mother to tui1 my back for me... cos it HURTS!!!!! super xin ku and i have a feeling my right shoulder is slowing getting higher than my left shoulder :(




有一种莫名的挫败感。刚开始一个学期，化学已经落得得加入补习班了。

我已经找不回当年那种为学业拼搏的精神了。每当一拿起书包，就想睡觉！一觉醒来，才猛然发觉自己什么也没做到，才又担心。但心里又不肯做功课。好矛盾啊！

我希望A水准能考到好成绩。我不相信自己是主妇命！我要做一个有用的人，女强人！最讨厌就是女人/孩被人看不起。

我不要被人看不起！我要努力，但怎么找回推动力？

学业一落千丈，十分焦虑。不知道该怎么振作起来。。。 哎！

我每天都不知道自己在干什么。上课不专心，也不知道自己到底在想什么。今天数学课听不懂讲师在说什么，也懒得去多想。我的脑袋是废了吧？

总觉得自己一无是处。中一中二的时候不那么认为，但这种感觉越来越明显了。

压力很大！

一个人，应该好好读书才能出人头地。不读书就等于死路一条，对吗？为什么我明明知道这一点，但还却不加理会。

好好好矛盾!

心里十分矛盾。

有人能救救我吗？请您逼迫我读书吧。我现在需要的是一个人的逼迫。

我的生活一片混乱。。。

and i thought i could throw dhis away... but apparently...

i cant...

still got a lot of things havent do! have to settle money problems... claim money problems... debrief... blah blah blah... haiz

but overall i still enjoyed planning? it's the first time that i planned such an event.. even though it sort of flopped as everything was last minute... sorry guys!! feel guilty again :(

but anyway, everything finally ended le!!!!

IT'S TIME FOR TRAINING! YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!! :) :) :)

380 380 380!!!!!!!

Finally another holiday tmorrow!!!! YAY!!!!! finally can relax le! today dr yap wasted my time again!!!! GRRRRRRR... after science society went to bras basah to buy books and went library to borrow books... dunno how many i'll read in the end.. but i'll try to read the book that i bought which is san mao's book, for the zuo wen :( got very low marks... den i realized my standard of chinese is VERY LOW!!!! quite demoralising.. haiz! must improve chinese and english for gp... hmm feel like i'm acting like an arts student! but weirdly, the subject that i'm most proud of now, is actually.... GP!! it's the only subject that i not only passed, but passed by a few marks! hahaha!!

shall try to explore my handphone now... it's really sad that i only have time to explore now... 1 week le!

and i'm starting to love training again!!!! cos my standard is coming back!! no more scattered groupings! yay! thanks to the new position? but my hand position has been wrong, now i have an injured wrist!! BOO! plus i pulled my back muscle.. it's at the left side too... now my whole left side of my body is injured!! :( wonder if i'll be wai1 to one side when i'm old... cos my shooting position is now 70, 30 in ratio... exerting more pressure on the left side than on the right... den coach don't let me blink when i'm aiming!!!!!!! den i was super xin ku as i blink more often that the others since young... den i was tearing while trying to control myself not to blink! den i see yongliang blinking when aiming... i was super bushuang!!!!! end up i couldn't even see the target card properly, so i anyhow shoot... lol! i guess maybe the coach is trying to shift my attention to my position la... cos since after the stupid trials, my mental has been affected terribly... shoot blank card still can, once i turn to the real target, start shivering and shivering... den i dun dare to fire again... so by insisting that i do not blink, and check my position everytime, it's actually shifting my attention again... and i finally realized that i do not shake as much, and my stability is coming back!!!!! i wan to get back into nyt again!!! Hahaha... but it's true in a way that i don't wan to waste my dad's money on the suit... den also... i have finally found my passion back for shooting! after dhis... i got really scared that i suddenly became very enthu for training... i even took taxi there lor... to ensure that i have lanes... as i have missed training a lot of times, as i wanted to let the newbies train... but now... NO! i myself wan to train!!!!!! love training!! kept wanting to go for training.. but i noe yr 4s are there.... so sure cannot train de la! looking forward to next wed's training!

Thanks Lyon for your encouragement!!! I do read your blog every time and it's really so nan de that someone can be so positive everytime!

anyway... here's to blog that DHIS finally ended!!!!!!! The response was pathetic, but I never realised that everyone just 笑笑就过了! it was really really super funny when innova jc was the only team with pistol girls, and they just got first place even though the first was from victoria and the rest of the 3 was from the team! but anyway i dui bu qi them la.. cos i assumed that coach haw would have informed them that the detail combined, but apparently she dint!! so it's another lesson learnt! and end up the girls din arrived and i only realised when it's around 1245 and the competition starts at 1pm!!!!! luckily the girls were all at causeway point... they rushed here by cab and i promised to compensate them la... so in the end wasted mdm nora/the school's money... I'm terribly sorry!!!!! It was the only huge mistake and it came out when it's only the last part of the competition -.- and somemore i was shooting!!! grrrrr... and my card was given wrongly.. supposed to be 398461, the juniors gave me 399461 -.- in the end it was a super pro gal's deng chao's card... she got 378 in the end while i got 361 :( which was the score i got when i entered my first ever competition in sec 1 :( super super sad!!!! i really need more training... mental affected by the innova jc ppl is not an excuse for me... have been missing a lot of trainings and i foresee i'll miss out even more when the life science project is starting and pw will start formally... DIE le..... :( :( :( i really wanna shoot well, and i need more training for that....

but i'm really glad that DHIS finally ended!!!!! haiz really really tired and all the hardwork paid off! though i'm really sorry for Zhikai who rushed out everything, esp the banner, within 24 hours! you're powerful! and sorry for all others that everything's so last minute... i'll treat this as learning experience, nxt year i'll be a super duper great advisor hahaha! this thurs will have debrief.. hopefully i can go as i have lotsa lotsa points to make... make sure that DHIS will be "one of, if not the best invitational shoot an academic instituition has organised in singapore" hahaha... jiayou juniors!

and... i'm super stressed now as i have left all my homework undone... even those that i'm supposed to hand up during the hols itself... wonder how i'm gonna explain... jiayou!!!!!!! at least one huge thing is done... now it's school work, project work, shooting and life science research.. jiayou don't give up!!!!!!!

and i got a new phone!!!!!!! cos my old phone spoiled, it din have network coverage!!! den i couldn't receive any sms or calls or call or or sms out boo! but yay! i finally got my new phone and it's chosen by me!!!! N76... i tink it's an old model.. and it looks like motorola haha... even though it's from nokia... but hmm not many choices for 3G phones.. .and i'm satisfied with it le, even though it's not pink in colour... :( the other one with a little pink in it is 7900 prism.. i have a feeling that i won't be able to sms well with it... and i may not be able to adapt to other phone models and i dun wanna waste too much time... so it's back to nokia!!! at least i changed my phone! even though it's a bit heavy but it's slim!! hehe.. and it's red!! not silver boo! it's a flip phone too! never tried using flip phone... hope that it'll be a pleasant experience and i wouldn't have such a strong urge to change it like my previous stupid stupid 6280... BYE BYE!!! hahaha!

Jiayou!!!!!!! must go back for karate lessons too! cannot 半途而废！


JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!!!!!

last published jan 25th!! haha so here's to blog again... and it's a very crucial time for me and i'm DAMN stressed...

haiz... this week is the invitational le... i really dunno what will happen... the response is super pathetic... and i really regretted not putting in enough efforts... and got cheated by mdm nora and the coaches time and again... RESPONSE IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!!! THE WHOLE COMPETITION IS PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!!! still got people start to laugh and suan me behind my back... never mind! i shant be too pessimistic... this shall be a learning experience for me then! ppl won't understand de la... pioneer wat... next year ask u to start from scratch see how to fare!

and stupid dr yap!!!!!!! he at first said workshop on monday... den later changed to wed.. den now changed to FRIDAY again... and he said he won't accept any reason based on second cca... but look. i'm organising a competition and i'm overseeing it... if the whole thing crashes, not just dunman high school air weapons club's reputation will be tarnished, DUNMAN HIGH SCHOOL'S reputation will be tarnished too..... super stressed!!!!!!! i shall call and explain to him tmr... to the worst have to get mdm nora's help too!!!!!!!

I'M SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER STRESSED!!!!!!! can give me another chance to try again? i promise i'll

1. send postage to schools instead of emailing!!!!!!!!!!!
2. find seniors and links in the very first place
3. be more involved!!!!!!!
4. get more people to help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STUPID!!!!!!!