Reflections on 2011 + Germany trip

2nd January 2012, it's another new year, a new beginning. 2011 was overall good, although it didn't start well with a rather sad birthday and a break down of a what-used-to-be strong friendship. Visited quite a few places in 2011, went to Scotland (technically still considered part of UK), France, Poland, Switzerland and most recently Germany.  Although tiring (especially for Poland and Switzerland when I had to lug a lot of luggage here and there!), I must say I really enjoy travelling.  I don't have very strong feelings, but I really like that I have broadened my horizons, I have seen places, architecture, landscapes that others may not yet have the chance to see. 

I guess my trip to Germany can be considered as a 'milestone' for me, since it was my first solo trip, although I had travelled solo to Scotland and France too (but I joined a tour group!). Walked around the streets of Germany alone, visited landmarks alone and ate alone. I really wonder what made me have the courage to travel alone, especially during the winter when it's going to be really quiet.  It was really quiet in fact, there weren't many tourists, I felt that I really blended in very well (cos there were locals who asked directions from  me in German!), and I really like that! Paris didn't give me a very good impression cos it was all too touristy. This brings back the point about the objective of travelling.  Some people travel overseas to do shopping, some to do sightseeing, and so forth. I didn't have a clear objective of what I wanted to achieve through this trip, it's not to san xin (cos I was too slack for the past sem!), nor to do shopping (I didn't do ANY shopping at all! :O souvenirs do not count).  I didn't visit any museums either and Germany didn't have very nice landscapes and buildings unlike Switzerland/Barcelona. 

Didn't have fun (no theme parks or whatsoever) and didn't see much beautiful scenery as I wished. When everyone asked me 'how was your trip?', I didn't know how to answer. I don't want to admit that I had wasted money, so I would say that I had learnt about their culture, learnt to be more independent and organized, which seems quite true now that I do my reflections. 

I haven't seen the most beautiful things, but I have seen how efficient and organised the Germans are. There's really a stark contrast and so I can understand how is it that Germany can be so successful.  Of course, the part about being independent, no one to wake me up early in the morning to board the train, and no one to accompany me when there wasn't other people around, or when I took the wrong train and almost ended up in Switzerland. Climbing 109 steps up to the top of the tower of St Michel's church and walking through the Elb Tunnel, both in Hamburg were the most frightening experiences cos both places were deserted! Climbing up the never ending steps and walking through the never ending tunnel with no one around made me really fearful, but I'm glad that I still made both in the end. The feeling of conquering something makes me proud of myself! :) It also didn't help that day time was extremely short, it was dark by 3.30pm, can you believe it?! And I have always been afraid of the dark >.<

One other thing that I did on the trip, that I never thought I would have done was... drinking a lot of alcoholic drinks lol. Would always check alcoholic content carefully before taking any drinks, but while I was there, I 'anyhow' ordered my drinks and drank quite a lot of beer(1 litre in a day!). What if I got drunk? No one would be around, quite scary now that I think back!

So in conclusion, it was a trip for me to learn more about Germany, live life as a German, force myself to be more brave, more independent and more adventurous than I used to be and perhaps learn more about myself? Also, not to forget, eat good food! Would you say that I wasted money? Somehow a part of me still feels that I wasted money cos I haven't seen the best sights, but I guess the experiences that I have gained can't be measured with money? Thinking of how I walked in deserted neighbourhoods in the dark still sends shivers down my spine, so I guess it's still well worth it!

Now back to 2011. I had achieved good results, though not as good as I would like it to be, but good enough. BUT! That is making me complacent deep down, even though I have been reminding myself not to be. Been slacking like nobody's business and I am seriously freaking out now. Freaking out how slack I am continuing to be, despite the ticking clock. Gosh! Am starting to do some work now, but with crawling speed >.< Someone send me some motivation please!

I did a law internship which made me learn a lot. I volunteered on the legal advice clinic which puts me right out of my comfort zone (*shudders*).  I have a much wider circle of friends here in the UK now and I have definitely been more exposed than before (Have got my first gay friend and he is oh so nice!). I have surprisingly grown closer with my sg friends, and I am very happy with that! I have had more initiative with regards to aiesec. I have finally started ballet lessons and I will be performing next month! My life has definitely become more colourful than before! So, I am very glad for everything that has happened to me since the end of Year 1 (that's after June!).

Looking ahead!
2011 has now ended. For 2012, here are my wishes/what I want to do:

1. Continue to put myself out of my comfort zone! Have more initiative, be more adventurous, and be braver!
2. Travel to more places, live life as a local, experience their cultures and see more beautiful sights!
3. Be stronger than before! Have more determination and perseverance!
4. Work harder with regards to academic studies!!!!! (Seriously need to! >.<)
5. Find someone! >.< Sadly, being around 'lovey-doey' couples doesn't help AT ALL. :( It will be the best 21st birthday present to me, hehe!

Some random thoughts
It scares me now that I realise that I have stopped having strong feelings towards anything at all. Where has all the 'passion' gone to? They used to define me as person, but nowadays I find myself feeling neutral towards almost everything, with certain exceptions eg. when someone points something out which provokes me. Is that the process of growing up? Learning to take things in stride? But that still shouldn't be the case right?! Sigh! Or am I just starting to 'heck care' about everything? That sounds potentially dangerous to me :(

Been watching 'the good wife' recently, and it has added more dimensions to the impression I have of a career as a lawyer. It is definitely much more complex than before and that actually scares me quite a bit. My naive thinking in the past before I started law school has been corrected over and over and over again, for umpteen times. But, don't get me wrong, I'm still sure that it is the path that I want to take, but I have to now reconsider many other things.

I am now starting to believe that platonic relationships CAN exist, but that is probably because I am forced to believe.

Shall end it here, hope I didn't bore you out! :P

Reflections on 2011 + Germany trip

2nd January 2012, it's another new year, a new beginning. 2011 was overall good, although it didn't start well with a rather sad birthday and a break down of a what-used-to-be strong friendship. Visited quite a few places in 2011, went to Scotland (technically still considered part of UK), France, Poland, Switzerland and most recently Germany.  Although tiring (especially for Poland and Switzerland when I had to lug a lot of luggage here and there!), I must say I really enjoy travelling.  I don't have very strong feelings, but I really like that I have broadened my horizons, I have seen places, architecture, landscapes that others may not yet have the chance to see. 

I guess my trip to Germany can be considered as a 'milestone' for me, since it was my first solo trip, although I had travelled solo to Scotland and France too (but I joined a tour group!). Walked around the streets of Germany alone, visited landmarks alone and ate alone. I really wonder what made me have the courage to travel alone, especially during the winter when it's going to be really quiet.  It was really quiet in fact, there weren't many tourists, I felt that I really blended in very well (cos there were locals who asked directions from  me in German!), and I really like that! Paris didn't give me a very good impression cos it was all too touristy. This brings back the point about the objective of travelling.  Some people travel overseas to do shopping, some to do sightseeing, and so forth. I didn't have a clear objective of what I wanted to achieve through this trip, it's not to san xin (cos I was too slack for the past sem!), nor to do shopping (I didn't do ANY shopping at all! :O souvenirs do not count).  I didn't visit any museums either and Germany didn't have very nice landscapes and buildings unlike Switzerland/Barcelona. 

Didn't have fun (no theme parks or whatsoever) and didn't see much beautiful scenery as I wished. When everyone asked me 'how was your trip?', I didn't know how to answer. I don't want to admit that I had wasted money, so I would say that I had learnt about their culture, learnt to be more independent and organized, which seems quite true now that I do my reflections. 

I haven't seen the most beautiful things, but I have seen how efficient and organised the Germans are. There's really a stark contrast and so I can understand how is it that Germany can be so successful.  Of course, the part about being independent, no one to wake me up early in the morning to board the train, and no one to accompany me when there wasn't other people around, or when I took the wrong train and almost ended up in Switzerland. Climbing 109 steps up to the top of the tower of St Michel's church and walking through the Elb Tunnel, both in Hamburg were the most frightening experiences cos both places were deserted! Climbing up the never ending steps and walking through the never ending tunnel with no one around made me really fearful, but I'm glad that I still made both in the end. The feeling of conquering something makes me proud of myself! :) It also didn't help that day time was extremely short, it was dark by 3.30pm, can you believe it?! And I have always been afraid of the dark >.<

One other thing that I did on the trip, that I never thought I would have done was... drinking a lot of alcoholic drinks lol. Would always check alcoholic content carefully before taking any drinks, but while I was there, I 'anyhow' ordered my drinks and drank quite a lot of beer(1 litre in a day!). What if I got drunk? No one would be around, quite scary now that I think back!

So in conclusion, it was a trip for me to learn more about Germany, live life as a German, force myself to be more brave, more independent and more adventurous than I used to be and perhaps learn more about myself? Also, not to forget, eat good food! Would you say that I wasted money? Somehow a part of me still feels that I wasted money cos I haven't seen the best sights, but I guess the experiences that I have gained can't be measured with money? Thinking of how I walked in deserted neighbourhoods in the dark still sends shivers down my spine, so I guess it's still well worth it!

Now back to 2011. I had achieved good results, though not as good as I would like it to be, but good enough. BUT! That is making me complacent deep down, even though I have been reminding myself not to be. Been slacking like nobody's business and I am seriously freaking out now. Freaking out how slack I am continuing to be, despite the ticking clock. Gosh! Am starting to do some work now, but with crawling speed >.< Someone send me some motivation please!

I did a law internship which made me learn a lot. I volunteered on the legal advice clinic which puts me right out of my comfort zone (*shudders*).  I have a much wider circle of friends here in the UK now and I have definitely been more exposed than before (Have got my first gay friend and he is oh so nice!). I have surprisingly grown closer with my sg friends, and I am very happy with that! I have had more initiative with regards to aiesec. I have finally started ballet lessons and I will be performing next month! My life has definitely become more colourful than before! So, I am very glad for everything that has happened to me since the end of Year 1 (that's after June!).

Looking ahead!
2011 has now ended. For 2012, here are my wishes/what I want to do:

1. Continue to put myself out of my comfort zone! Have more initiative, be more adventurous, and be braver!
2. Travel to more places, live life as a local, experience their cultures and see more beautiful sights!
3. Be stronger than before! Have more determination and perseverance!
4. Work harder with regards to academic studies!!!!! (Seriously need to! >.<)
5. Find someone! >.< Sadly, being around 'lovey-doey' couples doesn't help AT ALL. :( It will be the best 21st birthday present to me, hehe!

Some random thoughts
It scares me now that I realise that I have stopped having strong feelings towards anything at all. Where has all the 'passion' gone to? They used to define me as person, but nowadays I find myself feeling neutral towards almost everything, with certain exceptions eg. when someone points something out which provokes me. Is that the process of growing up? Learning to take things in stride? But that still shouldn't be the case right?! Sigh! Or am I just starting to 'heck care' about everything? That sounds potentially dangerous to me :(

Been watching 'the good wife' recently, and it has added more dimensions to the impression I have of a career as a lawyer. It is definitely much more complex than before and that actually scares me quite a bit. My naive thinking in the past before I started law school has been corrected over and over and over again, for umpteen times. But, don't get me wrong, I'm still sure that it is the path that I want to take, but I have to now reconsider many other things.

I am now starting to believe that platonic relationships CAN exist, but that is probably because I am forced to believe.

Shall end it here, hope I didn't bore you out! :P